5 Common Things in Philippine Soap Operas

Thanks to the tradition of sitting in front of television every night to watch Philippine-made soap operas, Filipino kids today probably know Coco Martin's real name before they find out who PNoy really is. Not that there had not been any improvements in the past few years because there had been a considerable increase in quality which I'm grateful for. For example the police in dramas are not as stupid or as corrupt as how they were shown in dramas or movies a decade ago. Another is that the shows are finally taking hold of the reins when it comes to using amnesia as a twist in the plot.

However there are still elements that persists to be present in the country's dramas. Let me count the ways:

1. You are not your mother's child- What's with babies in dramas? Why is it that they always find a way to get lost and wound under some other family's roof and be brought up like he/she's the real child or something. Then the world became too small in the long run and all the secrets coming out with the now-grown child crying because his/her life is one big lie, and heavy drama scenes with a sprinkle of heart-wrenching confrontations commence! When I try to imagine that happening in real life, it would seem that all of us have fake parents. It's actually making me paranoid.

2. Everybody is capable to kidnap somebody- Every single time a drama ends, we see a bunch of lead characters getting kidnapped, brought to a secluded area, or an empty warehouse (how the villain successfully managed to find an empty one, or one located in the middle of a crowded city remains a mystery). Then this hero will come out from nowhere because he's supposed to be a psychic like that, finding kidnappers faster than the police and shit. A fight of guilt-inducing debate will start between the two and...

3.Somebody dies- This usually take place in the later episode of a series, it could either be a good guy or a bad. After that there would be an ass-long scene of the dead person being brought to its resting place and everybody has his or her own opinion being dubbed one by one and the viewers could hear it and it does not even contribute to the plot whatsoever. Fucks given? Zero.

4. The bad guys are really really bad- If it were Joffrey Baratheon, it's acceptable, but when a character in a drama (that resembles anyone you could randomly pick out from a busy street) turns out to be so evil he/she could conjure a bomb or a gun from nowhere.... it's becoming awkward, be afraid. Most of the Philippine villains are just black, like they don't even have grey corners in their personality. They all go through rough times in their life story but the way they hold and keep grudges is the amazing thing and turns them into the scariest bitches ever

5. Rich people wear fancy clothes.... at home- I've always noticed this part. When a pair are having a discussion at  their home, they are always dressed up. Like cocktail dress. Nah I'm joking but they still wear formal clothes and I expect they're going anywhere and...they don't. I know the characters were rich and all but the TV dramas are making their household lives look uncomfortable. Plus the make up's quite heavy too, you being subtle huh? Yeah we know you TV guys want to show a sophisticated image but come on, it's only making the actors look stupid.

BONUS: Dead lovers are always shown wearing white and barefoot but running happily across fields in heaven. Guys, we have camera crews in heaven. In heaven. Guyyysss