Bisaya Edition!

I'm one proud Bisaya! It's a Philippine vernacular but has more speakers compared to the Tagalogs, reaching the Mindanao and Visayas islands. Another note-worthy thing is the never-ending debate as to which is the real national language (but it’s never a good idea to poke either group with a stick haha). But I'm not going to blog about Bisaya pride today though. In fact, I'll try to teach the correct use of certain words and expressions we use. The idea started with this article which does not truly define the right way to use some of the words. I want to try my hand at writing a similar post.

First, let me introduce our bad bad words. I have to because we're talking about expressions right? Swear words would always be present when it comes to that topic regardless of language. Here are the Top Four:

1. Yawa- The Devil. Literally. So using this as an expression when you feel frustrated or you fell down the stairs is automatically regarded as bad word, after all, you are calling the Devil's name. But apart from swearing it could also be used in normal sentences.
2. Yati- Honestly, I have no idea what this means, but it is also regarded as a swear word, only a tier below Yawa.
3. Atay- There's this theory that this word derived from a chicken disease that weakens the liver. So if you say "Gi-atay ka!" well, it's more of a curse than anything.
4. Peste- Self explanatory.

Now let us continue with other Bisaya words:

    1.  Tsada/Nindot- Both words mean the same thing, which is "nice" but their differences comes in the geographic region they're being used. "Nindot" is a word from Cebu and it is widely accepted that Cebuanos are the ones who use this term more than any other Bisaya. "Tsada" on the other hand is generally accepted as a Cagayan de Oro term, hence our tourism motto.

    2.  Gilanlan- This is the Bisayan for the Tagalog word "pinapapak". I highly doubt that there's an English equivalent for this one. This is the act of directly eating salt, sugar, ketchup, soy sauce, powdered milk, peanut butter, nutella, etc. It could also mean munching on a meal minus the rice.

    3.  Gayud- This adverb which means"very" is another common source of confusion. These days the word "gayud" is commonly shortened to "jud" so best remember that both are the same.

    4.  Langgam- In Tagalog/Filipino,"langgam" means "ant" while in Bisaya it means "bird".

    5.  Maglibang- In Filipino, libang means having entertainment or fun, or just being not bored. However in our side of the archipelago, libang means taking shit. So if you happen to hear someone say "Malibang sa ko" It means that he'll be going to the bathroom to dump some shit.

    6.  Gugma- Here's the "love" translation at last! It's actually a BisDak, or Bisayang Dako. Gugma is part of those deep, ancient words that only the old guys seems to know about, thus those who actually use this word are either in complete utter seriousness or just poking fun at the word itself.

    7.  Lugar Lang- This is what you call out to signal the taxi or jeepney driver to stop if you're in a Bisaya region. If Tagalog people say "Para", "Lugar lang" is more of a longer statement like "I-lugar lang" which is simply "Please place the vehicle somewhere at the side of the road since I'll be getting off now"

♦♦♦

One last note for the Manila people, YES I'm talking to you, most especially the people from the national TV channels and media personalities

Can you please, please, refrain from pronouncing Butuan as "Butu-An"? 
First, because it's wrong. The correct way to say it is "But-Wan" and second, it sounds perverted and ultimately hilarious to the rest of the Philippines. Do you even know what "butu" means? It's a fucking penis in Bisaya. 

Yes darlings, you've been calling an innocent Mindanao city a Penis for more than a decade. Considering how this had been going on for years, any kind of justification for this kind of faggotry has long been pulverized.
OH WAIT, other regions have a different translation, but it gets better actually, their version of "butu" is the vagina. 

Day 15 - Your Celebrity Crushes

Obviously I went an extra mile for this post. I made a collage of my beautiful babies:

My future husbands

1. Lee Hyuk (조빈) is the gorgeous half of the Korean duo NORAZO which debuted way back in 2005. He is currently known for having such an amazing 18 level octave vocal range and just being the sexy eye candy.
During his pre-debut days, his father was actually against his dreams of becoming a singer. He didn't have enough money for classes too, so Lee is said to have walked to Youngdong bridge so he could sing out loud without distracting anybody. He was also said to have frequent subway stations too as he practices his vocals as the train approaches. That's all in the past now as he had come a long way.

2. Jin Qin (金勤) has been a huge favorite of mine ever since I saw his cute smiles in Skip-Beat! and Hayate the Combat Butler. Unfortunately he only plays minor roles despite having good acting skills. I really am fuming, I mean he's so hot and adorable in his Weibo account (of course I'm following him). But anyways, I'm happy he was able to get himself into successful Taiwanese dramas, maybe he'll get his big break soon.

3. Satoshi Ohno (大野智) An artist, singer, host, actor, dancer, deep-sea fisherman, and the leader of the popular boy group Arashi. Could I ask for more?

4. Tom Hiddleston. Let's face it, Loki was just one of those unknown villains outside the world of comic-book fans. But when this guy wore the green and gold costume and smiled maniacally on the big screen, everybody just fell for the evil guy. Oh yeah, he went to Eton too, as well as University of Cambridge. When it comes to his appearance, he's just flawless:
Yes, I'm a Hiddlestoner.

5. Jensen Ross Ackles is another celebrity crush! I love Supernatural, and before that I was hooked on Smallville, so loving this guy is no surprise. It's almost impossible to imagine him and Dean Winchester as different persons since it's as if he always in character outside the show.

6. Alfredo James "Al" Pacino. The younger version or his present day self, I salute this man. My mother loved the movie Scarface which I only appreciated when I finally watched it. Then came Godfather  which became the final nail on my neutrality coffin, and I was transformed into a giggling fangirl.

To sum up everything:

Days 12, 13 and 14- Your thoughts on drugs and alcohol

Day 12 - A picture of the place where you were born
It's currently impossible since my hometown is miles away. I'm not even sure if the hospital still exists.

Day 13 - Discuss your first kiss
Imaginary

Day 14 - Your thoughts on drugs and alcohol
Alcohol's alright, especially the light and tasty stuff. I hate beer though. But since I'm not really what others call as a social (yep not even close) drinker, I'm not in the position to really judge the beverage or the people drinking it.

However for drugs, I blame the persons using them carelessly. Marijuana sounds OK, the most common ones are actually useful in the field of medicine, so I truly am annoyed at how guys tend to abuse these drugs. Plus, being on the road to self-destruction is really sad to behold too. If these drugs were left alone, I highly doubt they would be even illegal. Such is life, there's no turning back now.

Finally Found One of my Fave Stories Ever

The Egg

by Andy Weir

As an introduction, let me just share that I first read this from Galactanet. But I truly fell in love with this simple, mind-blowing short story that I want to have it in this blog too, in case I lost it again. For those who have not yet read this composition, go on with scrolling this page then, I assure you that it's worth your few minutes. If you think Quantum physics, religious debates and political theories are enough to blow your minds, you were wrong (but don't worry it's not going to be too much of a 2deep4u):

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had.

“You've been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn't understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you've lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

Fin. But see why I love this?
Quite a fascinating and fantastic concept on the idea of life. It's not usual to get a good story like this where we are forced to really think it over. It's not supposed to be literal of course but the one soul-for-everyone thing just gets to me. Putting relationships with different people under a whole new spotlight all of the sudden. Just fucking brilliant.

 

Help Typhoon Haiyan Victims

Hey folks, been quite busy lately. Between school and other priorities, it's been a full week for me. Things got worse when the Typhoon Haiyan came to Philippines days ago.

Believe me when I say our country is somewhere beneath that cottony thing

Just to clear things up, I'm not a victim of the calamity, thank you to those who emailed me asking for our situation, but we're OK. We live in the northern part of Mindanao and fortunately we only got a cloudy day with scattered rain showers, no floods and no causes for alarm. However our fellow Filipinos living in the Visayas region were greatly affected by the storm, right after an earthquake from weeks ago, and it is enough to bring down our morale. After all, our city had our share with such disaster when Tropical Storm Washi in 2011. We saw how hard it is with no water or electricity, cleaning the roads and the debris, and the bodies. Dead bodies floating everywhere, shortage of caskets, it was chaotic while it lasted.

Seeing a similar event (and unfortunately worse) happening to Leyte and other areas of concern, is really depressing to tell you the truth. There were reports of looting in malls, hijacking trucks containing relief goods, food shortage and even the communication lines are so dead. If you happened to see footages of field reporters going around the place, try to observe the surroundings. If there's one thing you need to know about Philippine roads, most especially in the provinces, is that we are tropical through and through, literally forests everywhere, even among the smaller barangays or smaller cities. But when you look back at the videos, you could only see pathetic tree branches and the wide cloudy sky instead of green leafy umbrellas. That is the extent of this disaster, changing their homes to something unidentifiable.

But since our own city managed to survive and got back on its feet, I believe it could also be possible for them too. Any kind of help will be very much appreciated as we couldn't do this alone.

How to Take Action and help he victims attain safe water, food, shelter, hygiene supplies, medications and other basic needs.

• Philippine Red Cross- These guys had been a huge help, rest assured your donations are wisely used for the victims. Choose a campaign (Haiyan and Central Visayan Earthquake are equally important) and choose your method of payment.
• ABS-CBN Tulong Na
• Kapuso Foundation Operation Bayanihan
• Gawad Kalinga Operation Walang Iwanan
• World Food Programme
• UNICEF Philippines
• Philippine Government

For Filipinos hoping to donate through mobile text, subscribers can follow these steps:
SMS-Text RED<space>AMOUNT to 2899 (Globe) or 4143 (Smart)
G-Cash- Text DONATE<space>AMOUNT<space>4-digit M-PIN<space>REDCROSS to 2882
You can donate the following denominations:
Globe: 5, 25, 100, 300, 500 or 1000
Smart: 10, 25, 50, 100, 300, 500 or 1000

Day 11 - Your Biggest Fear

Trypophobia

The fear of holes.

FUCK FUCK GOOSEBUMPS

I began noticing this "fear" of mine when I was still in high school. I hate seeing irregular holes in walls, pancakes, drawings or even imagining them. Makes me feel nauseated and wanting to get away from those ugly-as-sin craters as soon as possible. I never really thought much about it through the years but with the help of the ultra-reliable internet, I was able to discover that I am not alone. Apparently it's commonly called Trypophobia and despite being treated as an unofficial phobia, a lot of people actually accepted it as part of their list if fears.
I have found my family.

The best part is as recently as three months ago, Trypophobia is considered by psychologists as an 'invention', or in kinder words, 'a new and uncategorized' phobia. Technically they were right. But just this September, a study from the University of Essex considered that it may have been an old surviving instinct, a natural biological reaction as the brain associates the holes with danger.

Sounds legit. But this is still my number one fear so far. I can't even begin to tell you about those fucking lotus pods, and those fucking photoshops of lotus pods on a person's skin.

GOD I HATE THEM